It's Not Official Until It's On Facebook

I've joked with friends in the past, that their news (engagement, pregnancy, marriage, divorce) isn't official until it's on Facebook.   When I posted my engagement news,  I told Keith there was no looking back because it was Facebook official. 

I've documented all my big news on there and had already started to plan how to announce that we were expecting.  But now we're not, and I don't know how to document that.

I've spent several days heartbroken over the things people have said and the questions they've asked,  but how can I blame them when they really have no idea?  They don't know my struggles and loss,  so why fault them for small talk?

I fear that people will think I'm looking for pity, sympathy and attention.  I fear it will open me up for more hurtful words and suggestions to "just adopt." 

On the flipside,  I would hope to find others who can relate (not that I'd wish this on anyone).  I'd hope to eliminate some of the shame behind saying, "My baby died" and "I'm struggling."  I'd hope that it would show that Doodle mattered.

August 19th was Day of Hope for miscarriage,  stillborn and infant loss.  It was too soon.   October is Awareness Month,  the 9th-15th is Awareness Week and the 15th is Remembrance Day.  I still don't know if I'll post anything then.

What would I say if I did post?  
For those who have asked if we want kids-Yes, we want them so badly it hurts.

For those who have asked if we have kids-Yes, we have an 8 year old named Perry and we also have a baby in heaven.

Yeah that doesn't sound quite right.   

I've found pictures that simply say,  "Breaking the silence. I've got a baby in heaven."  But again,  I don't want to seem like I'm looking for sympathy.  I'm truly not.  I'm just lost on what all of this means in my life, our lives. 

There's no "Miscarriage for Dummies" book.   There are a few blogs that have been recently updated and they all say they're glad they told their secret.  They say it helped them heal and feel that they weren't alone and isolated.

It seems petty to even be debating this.  It's really just the thoughts in my head spewed out.