In the past, I've vaguely mentioned a gift that was offered to us. I've never really elaborated, but to put it quite simply, someone offered us one of the selfless gifts I could imagine. Someone offered to carry our baby/babies for us.
In the days before the IVF discussion that brought our dreams crashing down, this one person offered us more hope than we've felt in years.
This post is for her.
Dear Friend,
How do I ever find the words to acknowledge the gift you offered us? How do I ever express just how much you touched my heart?
The conversation we had was so much like others we have had in the past. We joked. You blushed. We ate. We vented. Then you offered to babysit for us for 9 months. I don't think it sunk in immediately. Sometimes, I still don't think it has. But in that conversation, you offered something that only the kindest hearted person could ever offer.
The fact that you had done so much homework and research floored me. The fact that you had considered how each person in your family would be affected is so "you."
That night, I made a secret Surrogate board on Pinterest. I did so much reading. I sat astounded at the "hugeness" of it all.
The truth is, I can't imagine a bigger honor than having my child grow near a heart as big as yours. If the baby could inherit one ounce of your character, it would be an amazing gain.
As I sit and write (and cry, of course) I still sit dumbfounded. What did I ever do to deserve such a gift?
So even though, we'll likely never be able to explore this path, please don't think I'll ever forget the day you offered to carry my dreams. Please never doubt that you helped heal my heart and that in the end you really did give me a gift I'll never forget.
As I end this, the words still don't seem to be right, or enough. This post has sat unpublished for so long, for this reason alone. I'll likely never find a way to repay you, even the slightest bit, but thank you. I love you and your family and I'm blessed to call you my friend and my "almost could have been baby mama!"
Love,
Me
