Birchbox

This month my box showed up right before we left for vacation.  I finally made time to play "beauty shop" and give the products a whirl.  Here's my ten cents:

Gilchrist and Soames Spa Therapy Body Lotion: Love this lotion.  It smells clean and light.  It's not greasy and absorbs quickly.   The $15 price tag isn't too far fetched either. 

Marcelle BB Cream Golden Glow: Feels like liquid foundation and I despise liquid foundation.  I'll use it up add cover up,  but surely won't be smeering it all over my face. 

Noya Beauty Summertime Peach Lip Gloss:  According to my sister it's sticky,  tacky colored and totally nasty.   I of course think this about all lip products,  so I'll have to take her word on it.  

Shea Terra Organics Rose Hips Black Soap Face Cleanser: OMG this stuff burns.   The warning of redness and tingling is ridiculous;  it just straight up burns.   I couldn't get it rinsed off quickly enough.  

Miss Jessie's Original Quick Curls: It's the season of the ponytail.  I'll let you know when I finish up my current trial packet and break this one open.   

Overall, a good box to play with.   Lip products always get a boo from me,  but the rest was fun to try out.  

The Walls Are Closing In

I'm completely out of sorts lately.  I'm agitated,  anxious, emotional, paranoid and panicky.   I'm weepy and feel like there's a huge weight on my chest.  Best part,  I'm adding hormones into that mix starting today.  

I have no idea what's going on.  I think so many things are just building up and adding up.   Every where I turn something else throws me off.....today a pregnant cat a few counties away chewed her paw off to escape from a live trap.   I'm ready to send our life savings for her care and to pack her and the whole litter home.   I might need to unfriend the Pet Rescue pages for a while.

I'm lost.   I don't know what to do about the potential upcoming IUI.   I don't know if I should quit my AS drugs if we're not even sure if it's a go.   I'm panicking.  

I just feel distant from everyone.  I hate that feeling.   It's lonely and depressing. 

So the moral of this whine fest is,  I'm down and out this week.   The weekend will be better.... Next week will be better.  I'll allow myself a little more Scandal on DVD therapy and then I'm dragging myself out of this funk. 

Beach Bums

The Riggle clan went on the first family vacation they've ever taken together.  We rented a beach house in Emerald Isle,  NC and set out for a week of fun in the sun.

We arrived late Friday night and crashed with Keith's brother who lives nearby.  Saturday we ran errands and checked into the house.  The rest of the family arrived over the next few days and we all got settled in.

This was my first "stay in" vacation and I didn't properly pack.   We only went sightseeing one day and ate out once as a group.   Luckily right before we left I threw some extra lounge clothes in my bag or I would have been way overdressed all week.  I finally kidnapped Keith for a date night on Friday because I was going stir crazy.  

We did tons of pool and hot tub lounging and thanks to my stupid knee slipping out,  I only walked in the sand twice.   I did at least get a little sunshine and glow.  My kiddo also developed a major bed wetting issue while we were gone,  so that was super stressful! 

At the end of the week,  I was more than ready to come home.   I'm thankful for the experience,  but I now totally understand why they don't vacation together more often lol.  

Oh Canada

Another business trip this month only this time I got to leave the country, but only to go as far as Toronto.  We made the 6+ hour drive on Monday and got home late Thursday night.

Not really much to say about the whole trip.   Crossing the border made me nervous.   The food was good.  The company was good.   The site we visited was cranky.  

The street signs and candy definitely caught my attention.   I didn't get a pic of the 100 km/hr signs,  but did remember to snap one of the candy (priorities!). 

I don't plan to add Canada to my dream vacation list,  but it was neat to see the area, meet the people and leave the country.   I guess Canada just isn't for me,  ey?

Sunday Tradition

A while back,  Keith and I started a Sunday tradition.  We don't do it every single week,  but we do try to make it there when time permits.   There's a quaint bakery in town, New Day Bakery, that has the most amazing scones ever.

It's a semi granola place mixed with good ole fashioned baked goods and we love it.  We grab two coffees and 3 scones/muffins and split the goods.   Our favorites include chocolate chip,  raspberry apple, peach raspberry and blueberry cream cheese. 

Today we got our normal baked goods and coffee cups and claimed a table on the patio.  The only variation to tradition was trying a new coffee.  We usually have the house blend and finally asked the server if the Grog was a bold roast (YUCK) and surprisingly he said no and shared it's a maple flavored blend (Maple is my absolute favorite flavor ever).  We both filled our cups and it was love at first sip.

So today we not only left with full stomachs,  but also with a bag of ground coffee.  Apparently there's a new tradition that was born today. 

I love this special part of our week.  I hope we always make time for it and the amazing coffee :)

Some shots from our many trips.  Yummy

It's The Least Wonderful Time of the Year

Once a year it sneaks up on me..... Mother's Day.   Out of no where a call, email or mailing slaps me right in the face.   Specials on flowers,  jewelry and all the other things women love.... specials on all the things that I have no one to give them to. 

Right after Mom died,  this day was spent in bed hiding from the world.   Last year, it was a bit happier because I was officially a step-mom (even though my husband failed to acknowledge the day.... sore spot).  This year; however, has a new sadness thrown in.   I'm the wanna be Mom who has empty arms.

I refuse to crawl back in bed and hide from the world.   I plan on taking my step-mom her gift,  taking flowers to the cemetery, visiting my Mama Tammy (she "adopted" us after Mom died....I still swear my Mommy had something to do with sending her to take care of us) and getting ready for my business trip to Canada.   I've learned distractions help me cope (yes we call that avoidance).  The sweet card from Perry helped too (Dad did better this year)!

So Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there.   I hope you treasure the Mom you have and treasure the gift of the little ones that gave you the title of Mom.

Happy Mother's Day in heaven,  Mommy.  I love you. 

A Thing Called Hope

Last night I laid in bed and just thought about the last year....

I remember stopping my birth control and feeling excitement.

I remember taking my first prenatal vitamin and feeling prepared.

I remember my first bloodwork results and prescription for Clomid and feeling unsure yet optimistic.

I remember walking into the fertility office for the first time and feeling overwhelmed.

I remember my first IUI and feeling like our miracle was happening. 

But mostly I remember the hope in all of these moments.   I innocently enough thought there was a baby at the end.  I've missed that hope.

Today was our follow up appointment with Dr. T.  We reviewed my MRI images and confirmed my left Unicornuate Uterus.  We reviewed that my good ovary is my right one which of course does me no favors.   My left one has never shown great results from drugs, but it's on my functional side. 

He repeated all the things I've read online over and over again.  Miscarriages,  pre-term labor,  c-sections.  At the end though,  he shut the book and said,  "So we going to try again?"  It kinda caught me off guard, but we agreed to try again. 

May is out because of some upcoming trips,  but I take drugs again next cycle and we keep trying to get lefty to respond. So, right now we don't know if and when our next IUI will happen, but again we have a tiny little bit of hope.

525,600 Minutes

May 4, 2014

It's been a year since Keith and I got married and became husband and wife.  I've never had a year fly by so quickly!    It's been a year full of highs and lows, but it's been the best year because he's been beside me.

I thank God all the time for giving me someone so sweet and good-hearted.  I think it's a miracle that he's so good at dealing with me and my idiosyncrasies. 

Happy 1st Anniversary to the man of my dreams.   He drives me crazy some days,  but I promise to do everything I can to make sure he always knows how crazy I am about him.  

Perry's Golden Birthday

My step - kiddo turns 8 on May 8th, so we celebrated a bit early with his Hall family and 2 local friends.  The Riggle crew will be celebrating on our upcoming beach trip later this month.

According to Perry,  "Today was like the best day ever" so I'd say it was a success :)  It might not be a Pinterest party,  but the thank yous and hugs proved it was good enough for my munchkin. 

He got a new bike,  helmet,  nerf gun,  board game, shirts,  money, gift card and football and of course loved it all and tried it all out lol. 

Happy Birthday Little Man.  I love you big bunches!