Failure

Endometrium was 7.3.

Left side 16.4

Right side 21 and 15.3

IUI is canceled.  Needless to say, feeling totally defeated.  Unicornuate Uterus I hate you! 

ABCs

A - Artist: I'm so out of the music loop.  I couldn't name a popular artist if I tried. My Pandora station of choice this week is Air Supply

B - Bar: KIND bars.  Yummy.

C - Celebrity: Anyone but the Kardashians..... They make me cringe.

D - Dessert: Oh sweet dessert, I miss you.  I would kill for a Strawberry Shortcake Blizzard.

E - Exercise: What's that?  Does cleaning house count?

F - Flower: Purple roses, Gerber daisies and tulips

G - Guilty Pleasure: The Bachelor.  My oh my how did I get sucked in?

H - Hope:  That this IUI works!

I - Iphone App: Cartwheel for Target

J - Jewelry: My wedding rings.  I still look at them and smile

K - Keepsake: My quilt made from my Mom's pajamas.

L - Laugh: Keith's belly laughs

M - Movie: Good Will Hunting

N - Number: I'll go with 2. Second time is the charm

O - Outfit: Yoga pants and sweatshirt with flip flops.  Classy lady walking

P - Pin: Mississippi Mud Roast

Q – Quote: You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to. -Good Will Hunting

R - Restaurant: Muriales Italian Restaurant

S - Store: Target and TJ Maxx

T - TV show: Reality TV.  Ugh it's bad folks.

U - Urban Decay product: Naked Palettes...life changing! 

V - Vacation spot: Puerto Rico beaches or any beach for that matter

W - Website: Blogs blogs and more blogs

X - Um skip

Y - YouTuber: I only listen to music on YouTube

Z - Zodiac Sign: I'm not a believer.

In A Good Place

Our next IUI is creeping up this week and right now I'm in a good place.

My upped dose of Letrozole is in my system.  I'm eating healthy and drinking plenty of water.  I'm taking all my vitamins.  I've followed H's marching orders.  I'm being open and optimistic that this is our month. 

I've made arrangements to have the procedure and then take it easy for a few days.  The house is clean and the Netflix queue is loaded.  Now let's make a baby.... DO YOU HEAR ME LEFTY AND UTERUS? COOPERATE!

Prayers are always appreciated.  :)

Your Valentine Awaits

Everyone has that one friend who you hope and pray will find the perfect guy.  The girl who deserves nothing but happiness and love.

For me, that friend is Beth. 

I don't know where to start! 

-Her heart: This girl's heart is bigger than anyone I know.  She's there anytime I need her.  She's sat in the hospital with me, been my co-pilot when driving a moving truck and stood beside me as I married my husband.  Her selflessness is unmatched by anyone I've met.

-Her laugh: It's contagious and warms your heart.

-Her ambition: This single Mom has raised a son, held a full time job for a major corporation, does hair on the side and got a college degree simultaneously.

-Her cooking: This deserves its own category.  She can cook!  

And there's so much more: She's beautiful, sweet, compassionate, loyal, fun and just an all around great girl.  I feel like my words can't do her justice.

The guy that snatches this one up, will be the luckiest man on this earth.

If you'd like to know more about Beth, please email me at hollybirdio13@gmail.com and I'll pass your info along.   A big thanks to Kelly's Korner for hosting this awesome Singles Day :)

Pie and A Heartdump

I have a friend, we'll call her H.  She's quite possibly one of the funniest people I've ever met....the girl makes my ribs hurt from laughing.  Anyway, H fought LONG and HARD to get her little man.  I won't go into the whole story, but if you ever wanna know it, she wrote a book (I'll send you the link) and you can read all about their miracle.  Amazing story. Amazing book.

Well a few months ago (um maybe a year now) I texted her about her fertility massage services.  She told me to keep trying and we'd touch base down the path.  A lot happened in that time (diagnosis of UU, pregnancy, miscarriage, etc) so I never reached out.  Well around Christmas we ran into each other while doing a charity shopping event and in the shoe aisle she yelled, "Don't think you've escaped the talk" (or something like that).   In hindsight I think my hormonal meltdown over needy kids might have been a red flag that I was cracking.

Anyway, we made plans to meet for pie and chatting and she shared her wealth of knowledge with me.   It's a whole new path that I'll totally admit isn't in my comfort zone, but I trust her so I'm trying.  There's a lot of emotional/mental portions, oils, quartz and tea.  She tried to take away my one caffeine a day, but I think she saw the crazy in my eyes, and left that one alone lol. 

There were tears, more laughter, hugs and strange looks from strangers when they overheard us say cervical mucus, but it felt good to dump my heart on someone who knows what it's like.  And she even brought me a cute vintage hanky......this definitely isn't her first rodeo.

*The photo is altered to hide name and number, but if anyone wants her contact info, I'll gladly pass it on. 

Jump Around Jump Around

You're singing the song aren't you?

Ha.

We went on a mini vacation this weekend and took our kiddo to Flight Trampoline Park to celebrate his report card.  My friend, April, and her nephew Nathan joined us.  The place was huge and the boys had a blast. 

My pictures stink because there's nonstop motion, but you get the idea. 

Oh Yeah, I'm Aware.....

Facebook is my frenemy.  I love to hate it and hate to love it.  It's a constant game of emotional Russian Roulette. 

Every day I'm guaranteed to see a pregnancy announcement, a birth announcement, a bump update, a newborn pic, a pregnancy complaint or something that reminds me that I'm not pregnant. 

I'm OK to face these 99% of the time.  I often hit "like" because I'll always believe babies are something to love and be thankful for.  

Today was different.  Someone posted,  "It's official, I'm going to be a Mommy," so I hit like and kept scrolling.  Next thing I know, a private message shows up in my Facebook conversations.   I am dumbfounded.  I am appalled.  I am baffled. 

How does faking a pregnancy bring awareness to cancer?  How does joking about a fake baby help anyone?  I'm aware of cancer.... It took my Mom.  I'm also aware of infertility..... It has to-date taken my dreams of being a Mom. 

I've seen plenty of these Facebook games before, but today it just hit a nerve.  Oh sweet girl who posted this, I pray you never have to face a time where you would give pretty much anything to be the one to post a pregnancy announcement. 

Blue Apron

I've been in a major menu rut and read about Blue Apron on a blog.  A few weeks later a FB friend posted a picture of her jambalaya and mentioned it was a Blue Apron meal so I finally bit the bullet and signed up. 

The cost was a bit intimidating, but when you compare it to going to a restaurant, it's actually cheaper and healthier.

Our first box:
1. Gnocchi - Keith loved it and I hated it.  I like plain fruit or fruit desserts, but despise fruit with meat, pasta, etc.  This whole meal tasted like Pledge, but my husband gladly ate my portion and loved it.
2. Chicken Charlemagne - This was an OK meal.  The mashed vegetables and roasted veggies were good, but again the gravy had a fruity taste.
3. Korean Pork Ragu: This dish was AMAZING!  I could eat it again and again and Keith totally agrees!  Yummy. I added extra spicy sauce to mine and we're on the hunt for the ingredients.

Our second box:
1. Chili: I really enjoyed this one, but it was too spicy for Keith.   Adding a little sour cream to the finished product made the meal.
2. Shrimp and Pineapple Fried Rice: This broke my meat and fruit combo rule.  If I had my way, I would have left the fruit out completely, but I added it for Keith, who again couldn't eat it because it was too spicy.
3. Buffalo Chicken Legs: This recipe set off the smoke alarms - cooking chicken at 450 degrees makes smoke lol.  The chicken was really juicy and flavorful, and the side salad was surprisingly good.  Keith's chicken was served bare so he didn't get to enjoy the spice on this one.

Overall, it's been fun to cook together and try new foods.  We're not making this a weekly thing, but I'd definitely recommend it to add some fun and variety to dinners!

TV Time

Winter is my television season.  I cuddle in my big ole bed and watch shameful amounts of Netflix and cable.  I tell myself that this will be a thing of the past when we have kiddos, so I'm enjoying it while I can.

The line up:

1. The Bachelor: Two words: train wrecks! I'm fascinated by these women.  They're straight nuts.  I'm still choosing Whitney, Britt or Jade.   If Ashley I and Kelsey don't go home soon, I'm gonna scream.

2. My Big Fat Fabulous Life: Exposure for PCOS and this girl's personality have my attention!

3. Gilmore Girls: So I'm 10 years late for this party, but I'm loving it.  I adore Luke.

4. Everwood: Another oldie I just found.  They just don't make shows like this anymore.  Ephram won't be on the baby name list though.

5. Big Bang Theory: I hope this show never ends, but even if it does, I'm pretty sure I can continue to watch reruns and laugh just as hard.

6. Bringing Up Bates: I'm a sucker for these breeding fools.  PS Duggars are coming back on soon!

I'm waiting for new seasons of Revenge, Scandal and OITNB on Netflix.  I'm also starting Parenthood at some point. 

Wow, this post just highlights my pathetically uneventful life.  I'm OK with that (hits publish because Big Bang is on lol.)

Dazed and Confused

I had my follow up ultrasound today and the new doctor confirmed that I've got a whole lot of nothing going on this month.  I've got some <10 follicles, but those are useless.  

What an update. Sigh.

But in happier news.  I love the new doctor.  He's a hippie Santa Claus and he was consulted on the John and Kate Plus 8 pregnancy so he's technically a big deal lol.   He's from Illinois and he's dealt with uterine weirdos like me before.  GAME ON.

Basically, he wants to do injections.   He says me and my eggs aren't getting any younger and it's time to call in the big dogs.  He sat with me for 30 minutes and talked percentages and drew pictures and gave me everything I've been missing from my original doc. 

I'm not sure what to do next.  The $1,100.00 price tag for each cycle is very concerning.  That's my biggest concern.  I can handle the needles (I hope) but in my mind this is our last hope.  It's scary.  It's overwhelming.

I'm lost and confused.  Luckily or unluckily we have 2 weeks to figure it out.  Truthfully it might come down to eeny meeny miny moe.   Whatever happens, hopefully hippie Santa can bring us a baby!