Day 4: NOW. Who are you now in this present moment? What are you feeling? Have you been irrevocably changed by the death of your children? How are you different now? Do you love anything about the new you? What do you want to become?
I'm broken, but healing. I'm loved and I'm thankful for my friends and family who've helped pick up the pieces. I'm scared but yet cautiously hopeful.
Today, I feel OK. I love that I finally got the nerve to reach out to other women who've struggled with infertility and loss. I even found a girl with UU so I'm anxious to learn from each other.
The picture below was snapped to show a friend my ginormous coffee, but it works for this. I look tired and worn. Sleep just doesn't come easily right now. I don't have much of a sparkle in my eyes. And I think the daily aspirin is making me feel rough too. But, each day is better.
I want to become more positive and allow myself to dream of a happy ending again. I need to kick start my diet and exercise to feel better! I want to believe in happy pregnancies with healthy babies at the end. I want to really laugh again....
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