Today was my HSG. I read way too many horror stories online so honestly I was scared to death. I won't lie and say it was painless. There were moments that took my breath away and made me yelp, but they were short lived. Keith got to come back with me (and rock a polka dot lead vest). I was surprised to see Dr. T there (he was nice today), it just never crossed my mind that he'd be doing the test himself.
The first attempt wasn't clear so I got a second shot of dye and then it was over. In the end, I've got a single horn UU (nicknamed Unicorn Uterus) and I've got a tube and kidney that are MIA on my right side. The real kicker is my right ovary is my good egg producer. So now, not only are we fighting a losing game to get pregnant, but staying pregnant is going to be hard, partnered with complicated birth if we make it to that point.
Needless to say, our IUI has been canceled. I'm now scheduled for an MRI in two weeks so they can see more. My hope is fading more each day. I'm just feeling defeated and numb. The sadness and defeat in Keith's eyes breaks my heart even more....He puts on a strong face for me, but his heart hurts too.
I read a while back where someone else on a much much much harder journey struggled with knowing how to pray and I too find myself struggling. Her answer was a simple, "Jesus, please" and trusting he knows the rest. So tonight I'm simply praying the same...."Jesus, please."
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