Love Languages

One of the best books I've ever read is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.   It gave me a whole new understanding on love and relationships.   Before reading it, I never realized that how I show love might not be the way others feel love.  

The 5 basic love languages:
Gifts
Quality time
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Physical touch

I once heard a sermon on this topic and the pastor told us about his wife spending hours in the kitchen making elaborate meals and desserts, but he felt unloved and neglected because all he really wanted was her time and attention. 

Normally, I'm a gifts and acts of service kinda girl.  Please don't think I'm materialistic....I just love flowers, sweet notes or little things where it shows the person went out of their way to find something special for me.  As for acts of service, having a clean house, tidy yard or folded laundry makes me calm and open to love.   It makes me feel like we have a good relationship and take value in the life we've built together. 

After we lost the baby, the gifts were nice, but all I really wanted and needed was physical touch and words of affirmation.  I wanted to be held and hugged and told I was loved and supported.  The times I cried the most were when I was alone with my own thoughts.   Luckily I have a few friends who really loved me the right way.   Other people disappointed me.   I recently mentioned this to a relative and his response was, "People just don't know what to say.... It's a hard topic to talk about."  Well news flash: It's even harder to live through it without love and support. 

I definitely think times of heartbreak can really alter your love language.

I'm also guilty of forgetting to stop and focus on loving my husband and helping heal his hurt during all of this.  I feel like I failed him.  In general, I need to spend more time understanding his love language.  I'd guess it would be words of affirmation and gifts, but I could be way off.  I guess we've got a conversation starter for our road trip!   

I ramble off all of this to say, stop and evaluate the people in your life..... Make sure you're loving them "the right way."