A Babyless Story Episode 9

We’re in month 9 of trying to get pregnant and needless to say, we’re frustrated. 

Dr. Jerkface finally called after 10 days with our most recent analysis results.

Dr: Dr. Jerk here calling with analysis results.  This is normal, that is normal, this percentage overall, good results.  Thank you, Goodbye.  (PS a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, sorry for being a jerk would have been appreciated)

Me: Wait wait wait…what does that mean?

Dr: Normal results.  Thank you. Bye.

Me: Wait wait, what changed?

Dr: Nothing, this was just a full analysis.

Me: So now what?

Dr: I don’t have your chart.

Me: Well get it. (I mean hello we are talking about a computer, not going to a large file room to pull a physical file)

Dr: You can do IUI if you want.  (IF I WANT?!?!  Yes, that’s exactly what I WANT to do…making babies the old fashion way is just plain boring…I definitely WANT to do this.)

Me: Well how do we proceed with that?

Dr: Come in on Day 3.  Goodbye now.  Click. 

So basically, I have no idea what happens on Day 3.  I don’t know if I go in alone, if I take Keith, if there are drugs and needles involved, if they will do it all that day, what the cost might be, etc. etc. 

I have hidden the thermometer from myself.  I’m not charting anything except for start and end dates.  I haven’t peed on anything that resembles a test of any kind.  I’m going with the whole less is more philosophy this month. 

So basically, we know nothing.  I have officially started cutting out processed foods and adding more water, fruit and veggies.  Let’s hope that helps the situation as well. 

I had my first “had a baby” dream a few nights ago.  Those are a sick joke; Woke up feeling even more disappointed.  Made it through the holidays with only 5 people asking about babies so we’ll call that a success at least!! 

And we pray and wait.....