Waiting

Patience is not my middle name.  I’m not one for sitting back and waiting for things to happen.  I prefer to obsess, plan, schedule, control and make things happen.  My Daddio repeatedly reminds me that nothing is in my control…that I might as well give up on trying to control everything.  One of my favorite quotes is, “Faith in God includes faith in His timing.”  I hear it and try to understand it, but let’s be honest….I want what I want when I want it.  End tantrum.  Stomps foot.

I want my house to be done.  I want my loan to be closed.  I want my new furniture to sleep on.  I want my new appliances to cook dinners on.  I want to wash my clothes in the same house that I reside.  I’m not sure why this whole processes is taking so long….and each day it gets mildly/majorly more annoying. 

So in my mind, I have to find the good in it all.  Being homeless has allowed me to get to know my Sister in law better.  Brenda is a great person….a lifesaver in my eyes.  She has opened her home and life to us and the cats, and for that I will be forever grateful.  Being homeless has made me appreciate my home….it might have broken me of preferring restaurants over home cooked meals (we’ll see) and it has surely made me want to get in the house and stay in the house!!  Being homeless has given us extra time to get light fixtures, blinds, curtain rods, etc. ordered and shipped here so they are ready to be installed on day one.  The flexibility allowed for some great bargain shopping.  So there, Pollyanna just played The Glad Game. 

I want to grow our family.  Everyone keeps asking when we are going to have babies….good question folks, good question.  Again, when God decides the time is right, I guess we will know.  Until then, we’re a family of three (five including the kitty babies).

I want to advance in my career.  I love the program that I work with, but if it is a dead end path, I need to find a new fit….I don’t like change.  So, I wait.

I want to get some loose ends tied up with paperwork and finances.  Again, if things were in my hands, I would have gotten them fixed 100 Mondays ago, but instead I wait and call a certain person not nice names.

I’m not complaining (yeah, I know I coulda fooled myself), instead I’m just saying maybe I’m being taught to wait.  Maybe I’m being reminded that this is not about what Holly wants when she wants it.   Stomps foot!!  So I wait and accept that I am not suppose to understand all of this….I’ll keep waiting on myself to get better at waiting.  It might take a while.