I don’t know if any of this stuff is universal or if I’m just an odd duck. Either way, here’s my take on marriage so far.
1.) There is a feeling of, “now what?,” after the dating, engagement and wedding are over. All of these parts are so exciting and busy and hectic and then after the honeymoon, there is almost a sense of confusion about what to do next. I honestly think that our buying a house was my solution to solving this problem. Not sure what to do after we’re done with that (WE GET THE KEYS TOMORROW!!).
2.) On the flipside of comment 1, there is a feeling of comfort that kicks in after the madness is over. To sum it up, he’s mine – he can’t run, hide or getaway. That ring has marked my territory and I kinda like it.
3.) Being the second wife is hard. Some days it is REALLY hard. He’s done all of this before, to me it is new and exciting. Keith makes it a point to always remind me that this marriage is completely different than his first, but there is still a part of me that wishes I was his first wife. For some reason, the fact that she kept his last name really irks me more…petty, I know.
4.) Being a stepmom is harder. Not because of the kiddo, I love him and couldn’t be happier to be his stepmama, but simply because it involves his ex-wife in our lives SO much. If she didn’t make it a point to be so heinous and uncooperative, it would make life much simpler, but for the next 11 years +, I just bite my tongue and struggle through. I don’t agree with her parenting choices, but I’m kinda stuck. Hugs and laughter and fun times with the munchkin are a good band-aid.
5.) It’s a big adjustment to learn to deal with each other’s quirks. It is hard to untrain and retrain someone in their bad habits. It takes a while to learn to compromise and decide what is best for our family instead of just me or him. Luckily, we spat and work it out and then laugh about it in the long run.
6.) There is nothing better than having someone to kiss you hello and goodbye daily. He leaves for work earlier than I do, so my morning peck is usually during my wake-up moments, but it still makes me smile.
7.) In-laws aren’t the horrid creatures that people make them out to be!! I was scared to death after some of the horror stories I have heard. Keith’s parents are amazing and his siblings are quickly becoming some of my favorite people! I’ve loved spending time with all of them over the past two years.
8.) Age really is just a number. Keith is 6 years older than me and it never crosses my mind until we talk about milestones. The day he mentioned something about graduating high school and I realized I was in elementary school, that kinda made me gag a little, but aside from that, it doesn’t faze me.
9.) Combining finances is the only way to go. This was never up for discussion for me, but it really honestly baffles me why people don’t combine and compromise on this area. I’m not judging, just saying, for us, it has made life so much simpler.
10.) The expectation to instantly have kids is overwhelming. I feel like a slacker right now. Maybe that can be the next source of entertainment after the house is done. ;)
Overall, marriage is wonderful. It isn’t all rainbows and kittens, but it is surely worth it in the end. I’m anxious to see how ours grows, develops, changes and thrives over years to come =)
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