This Is Why You Don’t Blog on Meds

 Warning: I’m medicated and weepy. 

I try not to spend too much of my life regretting things that I did or didn’t do. 

The thought does cross my mind sometimes about how one little moment could have changed so many things.  I think about Keith, who asked me out 5+ times before I said yes.  I was working a lot at the time, and kept denying his requests.  I can’t imagine my life right now if it weren’t for him finally suggesting lunch and giving me no choice but to say, “Yes.”  Best decision I ever made. 

That man has made me happier and angrier than any other human has in my 29ish+ years.  I love him in ways I didn’t know were possible.  He just gets me. 

Like earlier this week:  I was sick (again) and he brought me an iced coffee, lunch, throat drops and a surprise to work.  He bought me a baby name book to show me that he hasn’t given up hope.  The sweetness and hope behind his gesture breaks and warms my heart. 

Which brings me back to trying not to regret things.  A while back I bought the supplies to tell Keith we’re expecting.  In a moment of excitement, hope and allowing myself to believe, I bought the items I wanted to use to tell him.  I’ve never been a fan of handing someone a stick I peed on (not judging lol just not my style) so I prepared, just in case.  And now, I keep stumbling across my hidden surprise.  I worry what I will do with it if I never get to give it to him. 

Since the IUI, my body has been freaking out.  I won’t go into details, but let’s just say, my once normal cycles are all over the place and the doctor’s office isn’t being all that helpful in explaining it all to me.  And quite frankly, I don’t know what to do next.  Right now, I am waiting for this horrible sickness to pass and for the results from my recent doc appointments. 

But after all that rambling, Happy Valentine’s Day.  We’re spending a low key night together at home, because I had my husband cancel our dinner plans.  I can’t taste much right now, so why waste the amazing food at Montmartre!  I’m looking forward to spending some quality time with the man that I love and who I hope one day can be a Daddy again.