Excited. Scared. Thrilled. Terrified. Hopeful. Worried. Ecstatic. Petrified.
I could go on and on.
This time is different. I want to skip and yell and celebrate and throw a party. But I also want to hide and pretend it's not happening and protect my heart.
I'm begging God. I'm praising God.
I keep thinking of this quote:
It's not fair to this baby. MY second biological child to not celebrate his or her life, because Doodle is in heaven.
So the doctor's office doesn't open until 8am. The same time as my physical therapy appointment. After that I'm blood work bound. Please let the numbers be great.
I think I'm taking Keith coffee from Starbucks that says "Daddy of 2" on the cup. I told him last night that my period was late and he just simply said "Don't get your hopes up honey." He worries.
Well I'm done crying and rambling for now. More later.
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