Weekend Fun

Talk about a whirlwind of a weekend!  I need a few days to help me recover.

Friday night was a trip to the new baseball field to see the WV Black Bears game.  The boys enjoyed themselves and Heidi and I stayed awake (baseball = not my favorite sport).    The fireworks were nice though.

Saturday was spent at the Pittsburg Zoo.  It was HOT but we had fun.

Sunday was spent cleaning house and visiting family from out of town.  And suddenly the weekend was over....

I'm sad to see summer slipping away....and even sadder to see the college kids return ugh.   At least we had one last great weekend :)

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted.....

We ventured on another memorable family vacation last week to the Outer Banks in North Carolina.  The trip was amazing from start to finish. 

Sunday: Arrived, unpacked, grocery store and take out High Cotton BBQ for dinner.

Monday: Duck Donuts!  Pool time!  Sun, relaxing, reading and my dear friend, Chirleen and family came down to say hello and join us for dinner at Rundown Cafe.  They brought us an awesome goodie basket!  It was SO cool to finally get to hug her and squeeze her!!

Tuesday: BEACH.   Pool, outlet shopping, Black Pelican for dinner.

Wednesday: Pool, dinner cooking and more pool.  Chris dropped off some fresh Mahi for dinner YUM!

Thursday: Said goodbye to Bob,  beach, pool, and date night with my husband.  Hello crab-legs.

Friday: Pool, more shopping and Barefoot Bernies for lunch.  Cooked some picnic food for the arrival of Scott and Jenn.

Saturday: Maybe another Duck Donut run happened.   Pool!  Chirleen, Chris and Gabby rejoined us for the day.  We did another pasta night and enjoyed the awesome company.

Sunday: Packed up and drove home in nasty traffic.  Hated saying goodbye to everyone :(

Your Valentine Awaits

Everyone has that one friend who you hope and pray will find the perfect guy.  The girl who deserves nothing but happiness and love.

For me, that friend is Beth. 

I don't know where to start! 

-Her heart: This girl's heart is bigger than anyone I know.  She's there anytime I need her.  She's sat in the hospital with me, been my co-pilot when driving a moving truck and stood beside me as I married my husband.  Her selflessness is unmatched by anyone I've met.

-Her laugh: It's contagious and warms your heart.

-Her ambition: This single Mom has raised a son, held a full time job for a major corporation, does hair on the side and got a college degree simultaneously.

-Her cooking: This deserves its own category.  She can cook!  

And there's so much more: She's beautiful, sweet, compassionate, loyal, fun and just an all around great girl.  I feel like my words can't do her justice.

The guy that snatches this one up, will be the luckiest man on this earth.

If you'd like to know more about Beth, please email me at hollybirdio13@gmail.com and I'll pass your info along.   A big thanks to Kelly's Korner for hosting this awesome Singles Day :)

Pie and A Heartdump

I have a friend, we'll call her H.  She's quite possibly one of the funniest people I've ever met....the girl makes my ribs hurt from laughing.  Anyway, H fought LONG and HARD to get her little man.  I won't go into the whole story, but if you ever wanna know it, she wrote a book (I'll send you the link) and you can read all about their miracle.  Amazing story. Amazing book.

Well a few months ago (um maybe a year now) I texted her about her fertility massage services.  She told me to keep trying and we'd touch base down the path.  A lot happened in that time (diagnosis of UU, pregnancy, miscarriage, etc) so I never reached out.  Well around Christmas we ran into each other while doing a charity shopping event and in the shoe aisle she yelled, "Don't think you've escaped the talk" (or something like that).   In hindsight I think my hormonal meltdown over needy kids might have been a red flag that I was cracking.

Anyway, we made plans to meet for pie and chatting and she shared her wealth of knowledge with me.   It's a whole new path that I'll totally admit isn't in my comfort zone, but I trust her so I'm trying.  There's a lot of emotional/mental portions, oils, quartz and tea.  She tried to take away my one caffeine a day, but I think she saw the crazy in my eyes, and left that one alone lol. 

There were tears, more laughter, hugs and strange looks from strangers when they overheard us say cervical mucus, but it felt good to dump my heart on someone who knows what it's like.  And she even brought me a cute vintage hanky......this definitely isn't her first rodeo.

*The photo is altered to hide name and number, but if anyone wants her contact info, I'll gladly pass it on. 

When Your Mom Goes to Heaven

My friend's Mom died yesterday.  Just typing those words makes me tear up.   I know the heart ache and I know the pain.  Sometimes I wish someone had warned me what to expect and told me how to make it through.   Sometimes I'm thankful they didn't.  

If I could tell her anything, it might go something like this.

Dear friend,

Welcome to the club that you never wanted to join.  The club that you don't truly understand until you're one of us and the club you wouldn't invite even your worst enemy to join.

Here we know a pain so deep it squeezes your heart and takes your breath.  You will question multiple times if it might kill you, it won't.   You will cry and wonder if there is ever going to be an end to the tears, there will.

Here we feel like we're on the world's fastest and longest roller coaster of emotions that will never end, but it does slow down.   You'll want to scream at the top of your lungs, "Don't you know my Mom is dead?" and hate everyone for living in normalcy, so scream if you want.

You'll pick up the phone to call her.  You'll listen to her voicemail message.  You'll cry because you don't know her meatloaf recipe.  You'll develop a deep hate for Mother's Day commercials.   You'll miss the things she did that drove you nuts, more than anything else.  

You will hear people say some of the dumbest things, but remember they're just trying to help (trust me, this is so hard.)  You will also see the good in people as they love and support you, let them help.

I know you're in a complete fog right now and it feels like it will never end.   As time passes, you'll realize that God and love are the only things that kept you upright during these days.  I won't tell you time heals all wounds, because it doesn't.  You'll cry less with time, but there will always be a hole in your heart.   It does get easier to breathe, and I promise that you will learn to smile at the memories that now only bring you tears.

You will make it through this hell.  I remember people telling me that and I thought, "Well obviously they didn't love and need their Mom as much as I do," but they did love them, they were just farther along in healing.   Speaking of healing, don't even read the stages of grief, you'll heal how you are meant to heal and if that involves meds, counselors or whatever else you need, do it.  

I promise I'm here to help you in any way possible.  I'll tell you every crazy meltdown I had (Walmart Spice aisle was a favorite), I'll teach you how to "therapy cook" for a small army, and most importantly I'll sit and cry with you, because you need to get it out.  

I'm sorry your world is shattered right now.  I'm sorry you won't see your Mom again until Heaven.  I'm sorry there aren't better words than, "I'm sorry."  But know you're loved and we'll get you through this. 

I know you can't see it now, but one day you will be able to help someone else through a time like this.  One day you'll realize you survived and that your Mom would want you to smile again.  It's all part of being in the club....

With love,
Misses My Mommy Too

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

I finally got to go to a Favorite Things party!   I've always wanted to throw or participate in one, and the invitation arrived a few weeks ago! 

A small group of 7 ladies got together and we had a blast. There were a few kinks in everyone's interpretation of the directions, but we made it work!

I took 3 sets of Shea Moisture Superfruit soap with loofahs and 2 sets of OPI nail polish with hair ties (my friend, Holly, introduced me to these ties and I'm addicted.)  Apparently I was supposed to take 5 different items oops.

Anyway, the loot was all creative and fun.  There were tons of Bath and Body works items, food, alcohol, pampering items, gift cards, cooking items and other odds and ends.

I left with a wine sippy cup with merlot, a Margarita set (Fresca, tequila, lime and citrus squeezer), Jelly Bellys with a lip balm,  Pumpkin Spice maple syrup, and a Mexican feast set. 

My sister left with a Target gift card, ramekins, one of my soap sets, a hair brush and a coffee mug with a 31 mini bag.

There were steals, threats, bartering and cat fights, but we had a blast.  A B&BW gift set was the biggest hit.  I personally wanted an apron that someone brought!

I can't wait to participate in another one!  Thanks to the Huggins ladies for hosting and for the cute peppermint hot chocolate favor :)

Hearts

It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round.  I've met such a variety of people in my life that I could spend hours going on and on about the differences.  To me though, there's always been one type that stands out....those with huge hearts. 

I always considered my Mom one of these people.  She was quick to love, quick to cry and quick to nurture.  She put others before herself so selflessly.  She loved unconditionally. 

As I've grown older,  I've realized that I'm drawn to these people.  They're my best friends and my spouse.  They're the family members I'm closest to.  I have always realized it, but today it hit me like a ton of bricks.  

Last night, I made the mistake of watching our announcement reaction videos on my phone.  I have the ones of Keith, Heidi and April finding out.  I cried in private and tried to cheer up, but I was just having a rough few days.

Today, I got a package in the mail.   My dear friends Jenni and Jan had me a bracelet made to honor our baby.  I broke down crying in my driveway.  I'll never be able to explain what it means to me.  They  had tears of joy when I told them I was pregnant, and they've grieved and cared for me since the loss.  From miles away, their big hearts have comforted me.

My best friend, April, is another one.  She's there day or night, no questions asked, no complaints.  She's just there (often with therapy cheesefries) to love and cry with you.  She's been by my side at hospitals, funeral homes, and pretty much everywhere else in this state.  She knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

There are so many others: My friends Julie and Beth.  We laugh and cry together and take care of each other. My sister Heidi. She's a little Debbie Jr.  She'll hug me and hold me up anytime I need her.  My husband.  God knows his heart is huge or he would have run away from me forever ago.  And there are so many more.  I could go on for hours.

Yesterday when I wrote about M and how helpful she was, after I hit publish, I thought, my goodness I hope that didn't downplay the love and support of others.  Those who've never been down this path, may not know exactly what it feels like, but they've cried with me, loved me and never left my side.  They're priceless in my eyes.  I'd still be bawling on the bathroom floor without my big hearted supporters.  So if I don't say it enough.... Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.....I'd be lost without you and I love you guys. 

Love Languages

One of the best books I've ever read is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.   It gave me a whole new understanding on love and relationships.   Before reading it, I never realized that how I show love might not be the way others feel love.  

The 5 basic love languages:
Gifts
Quality time
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Physical touch

I once heard a sermon on this topic and the pastor told us about his wife spending hours in the kitchen making elaborate meals and desserts, but he felt unloved and neglected because all he really wanted was her time and attention. 

Normally, I'm a gifts and acts of service kinda girl.  Please don't think I'm materialistic....I just love flowers, sweet notes or little things where it shows the person went out of their way to find something special for me.  As for acts of service, having a clean house, tidy yard or folded laundry makes me calm and open to love.   It makes me feel like we have a good relationship and take value in the life we've built together. 

After we lost the baby, the gifts were nice, but all I really wanted and needed was physical touch and words of affirmation.  I wanted to be held and hugged and told I was loved and supported.  The times I cried the most were when I was alone with my own thoughts.   Luckily I have a few friends who really loved me the right way.   Other people disappointed me.   I recently mentioned this to a relative and his response was, "People just don't know what to say.... It's a hard topic to talk about."  Well news flash: It's even harder to live through it without love and support. 

I definitely think times of heartbreak can really alter your love language.

I'm also guilty of forgetting to stop and focus on loving my husband and helping heal his hurt during all of this.  I feel like I failed him.  In general, I need to spend more time understanding his love language.  I'd guess it would be words of affirmation and gifts, but I could be way off.  I guess we've got a conversation starter for our road trip!   

I ramble off all of this to say, stop and evaluate the people in your life..... Make sure you're loving them "the right way."  

Ouch

On Wednesday, we attended the funeral of a dear friend and amazing lady, Elodia.  I've blogged about her before (can't link things from this darn phone), but basically,  she's our best man's wife and the mother of 2.  The whole service was beautiful and heart wrenching and she'll be so missed.   My heart breaks for them.   We plan to love on them regularly and care for them like so many people did for us when we lost Mom. 

There's the background.  The services were over,  we were joining everyone at the church and then it happened.   An old football buddy from Keith's younger days so casually and innocently asked "Do you guys have kids?"  20 seconds after meeting the man,  and he shot me straight in the heart.   Keith turned around quickly with a deer in the headlights look and I quietly answered,  "Keith has a son.  I have a stepson.  His name is Perry."  The boys continued to talk about their lives.  I bit my lip and silently thanked God for sunglasses. 

Please don't think I'm making light of our friend dying and the heart ache of all who loved her.   I'm just simply coping with the loss of our friend and our baby.   The loss of a future of answering people happily, that "yes we have 2 children." 

More and more I question what innocent questions I've asked people over the years that have caused them pain (I'm sorry).  I definitely think more before I speak (and still say stupid things).  As I reminded our widower friend, people mean no harm with their words, but sheesh sometimes they just hurt!

Mandatory Christmas Post

Christmas = The best kind of madness there is.

Christmas Eve

• Keith had to work so I was on my own to run 101 errands. Sams Club, last minute gift buying, last minute helping a friend buy for his wife, wedding flower ordering with my MOH, etc.  Not to mention sorting 101 gifts into piles by house.
• Hopped in our PJs and headed to Lala’s house for our annual feast and presents.
• Headed home to open one gift from each other and climb into bed. 

Christmas Day

• Heidi and Randy came to our house to exchange and watch each other open gifts.  I got spoiled by my husband.

• We went to Mackel’s house for breakfast and to open gifts.
• Went to Dad’s house to open gifts.  I unwrapped a quilt from Dad and Lisa that was made of my Mom’s “Jammies” aka Pajamas.  After quite a few tears, we went back to celebrating.

• Went to Lala’s for lunch.
• Headed to Mather, PA to see Keith’s sister, Lori and her husband Mike, who were in town.
• My Secret Santa was unveiled.  Brenda and I got each other’s names in the drawing.  She has good taste i.e. Vera Bradley sunglasses and Bazinga t-shirt.
• Dropped my brand new cell phone in the gravel and busted the screen (hence the very limited pictures on this post ugh).
• Went home to be good little elves and prepare for Perry’s arrival the next day.

Day After Christmas

• Keith went to pick up Perry in PA while I cooked breakfast for his family and mine.
• The whole gang arrived and we devoured food while torturing Perry since his gifts were under the tree from Santa and everyone else.
• Perry unwrapped gifts for a solid hour.



Can you tell he's excited even though this is super blurry?


• The family trickled out the door and we continued our toy marathon.

The rest of the weekend consisted of spending gift cards, running errands, more playing, being lazy, inviting April, Jim and Nathan over for a play date, breaking out the new board games (Fibber and HedBanz), dinner at Heidi and Randy’s house, Law and Order SVU marathon, laundry, chores and a bunch of other excitement. 

It was a great first Christmas as a family in our new home.  We made great memories and enjoyed a simple life for a few days.  We missed those who weren’t with us, but enjoyed celebrating with all those who were there.

Happy Birthday Jesus….thank you for this wonderful life you have graced me with. 

Turkey lurkey doo and Turkey lurkey dap

It’s time for a good ole fashioned Thanksgiving Recap. 

Thursday

Rise and Shine

Stop for the annual Black Friday Sales newspaper

Lala’s house for lunch

Formulation of Operation Black Friday plan

Keith runs to pick up Perry

Meet Uncle Bob who is in town to surprise everyone (except his co-planner – me)

Dinner at Kathy’s house

Drop the boys off at home and head out to shop around 10:30pm with Heidi and Lindsey

Target, Wal-Mart, Mall, Bed Bath and Beyond, Sams, Rite Aid, Michaels….just to name a few

Somewhere along the way Thursday fades into Friday

We took a nap around 4am for about an hour and then got up and went again. 

Finally came home around 10am to shower and nap

Up again at 4pm for pedicures….this is my favorite part of Black Friday traditions….the massage makes it all melt away.

Pizzas and family time

Early bedtime

*Note: Normally this would have been tree decorating day, but I cheated this year and put it up the week before Thanksgiving.  The late Thanksgiving this year was just not acceptable….I needed some early cheer!

Please ignore the painter's tape we have in place for the Drywall Repair Appt.

Saturday

Wrapped some gifts

Game day – took Perry to his first Mountaineer Football game.  We about froze so we headed out around halftime.

Dinner with friends

Home to recover from lack of sleep

Sunday

Woke up sick….oh happy day!!  Spent the day in bed watching Bones and cuddling kittens.

Laundry

Welcome to the Jungle

The last month has been one of the craziest months of my life.  It takes a lot to earn that title after you’ve been alive for 380+ months!  I don’t even know where to start….just keep in mind that every second that was not filled with the madness detailed below was spent packing, cleaning, moving and stressing. 

August 2 – we officially signed the documents on our new townhouse.

August 3 – helped host a bridal shower for Whitney during the day and hosted Heidi’s bachelorette party that evening.

August 6 – celebrated Lisa’s birthday.

August 10 – loaded up 2 moving trucks full of stuff headed for storage and a (amazing) friend’s garage.

August 12 – 16: coworker took vacation so I was flying solo.

August 12 – got to visit with a good friend who was in from Virginia.

August 15 – bank appointment

August 16 – bought new appliances and lighting for the new house

August 17 – celebrated Collin’s birthday.

August 18 - celebrated Father in Law’s birthday.  Moved mattresses and box springs to storage and moved in with Keith’s sister, Brenda.

August 19 – walk through with builder at new place

August 20 – official loan application at bank.  Major drama with the inspection report on the house we were selling….full meltdown. 

Devil box!!!

August 21 – closed on old townhouse

August 22 – wedding prep

August 23 – wedding prep, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner

August 24 – MY BABY SISTER GOT MARRIED!

August 25 – visited with one of my favorite people in the world, Uncle Bob.

August 26 – Perry started 2^nd grade.

August 27 – ordered new bedroom and living room furniture.  (Please ignore the blurriness).

King Size Bed (Dresser and Nightstand Not Shown)

Couch, Loveseat and Ottoman (Accent chair orderd in a print!)

August 28 – celebrated Heidi’s birthday.  Mild drama with Dan Ryan over decks, almost became homeless again….

Now there are a million and one other fun things mixed in there, but those are the majors.  I realize this list is completely boring to read, but I’m thinking of it more as therapy….typing is cheaper than sitting on the couch!!  Plus along the way some amazing friends (and husband) cheered me up with flowers, edible arrangements, spa giftcards, etc. 

September isn’t going to be much calmer, I can feel it now, but hopefully by October, we should be settling in our new place.  Through it all, I’m thankful for the madness…..this jungle is my life and I wouldn’t trade it…..

Beach Bums

The week of July 20-27, we ventured to Myrtle Beach, SC for a family vacation.  Keith and I thought about cancelling the trip because life has been so nuts, but we really wanted to take Perry somewhere fun and honestly we needed a break from reality.  We have some "extended family" who own a condo which makes our vacations SO much easier!!

During the planning phase we decided that we wanted to take someone along to have an extra set of eyes on the ocean and also so I would have someone to do girl stuff with lol.  The boys would rather be beaten up than be taken into a single store so we knew it was in everyone’s best interest to have another girl along to even out the estrogen/testosterone ratio. 

My friend, Beth aka Bethy, came along because she has been dying for a vacation and I knew she would be the perfect partner in crime for sand, surf and shopping. 

We drove through the night on Saturday and after some sleep/passing out, we got up to do grocery shopping and visit with my brother and sister in law who had driven up from their place in SC.  We all met for Mexican food and then we called it a night. 

The next day was BEACH DAY…..Scott and Jenn joined us for some sun and then they hit the road.  It was nice to see them, but I wish they could have stayed longer.  We got cleaned up a bit early and headed out for seafood.  YUM!! 

The rest of our time was filled with Broadway at the Beach, swimming, paddle boats, playing in the sand, relaxing, eating some amazing food and Keith and I even managed to squeeze in a date night thanks to our Perry-sitter. 

The week came to an end quickly, but we all came home a little less stressed and ready to go back again next year.  After all, I have to get my annual pic with my favorite condo cup!!