Showing posts with label AS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AS. Show all posts

Monday, July 7, 2014

So Do You Feel Pregnant?

That's the question my husband asked me yesterday.  Out of no where, he just spit that one out.   He's hopeful and excited....He's always so optimistic.

I want to just yell,  "Nnnnoooooo I don't feel pregnant.  Hell, I'll never know what pregnant feels like."  I don't though.  I don't like to inflict pain on him sooner than I have to.   Sometimes though,  I think that's cruel of me.   False hope seems mean to me.   I'm the realist. 

I'm struggling right now.   Really struggling....I hate not having a plan or a clue on what to do next.  I'm dreading the IVF and/or adoption conversations that are coming....they're the pink elephant in the room.  

Sorry for the pity party.  I hate being the whiney blogger.   But it's life and when you don't feel pregnant it adds some extra "poor me" into the mix.  Not to mention the AS symptoms from hell....Mobic, I miss you so. 

Friday, July 4, 2014

Lefty

Well I typed this post once and hit discard instead of publish.  So here's the brief version.  Gggrrr

At our scan yesterday,  lefty woke up, but didn't produce 20+ measurements,  so no IUI,  but plenty of timed baby dance instead.  

I'm off of my AS drugs so I'm creeping around like a 90 year old lady.   I'm hoping the 2 weeks of pain is worth it! 

We're off to celebrate the 4th with family, food and pool time.  Oh and I chopped off all my hair.   It was hot and I needed a change :)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Crazy 8

Eight days of madness and I'm holding on tight!  Please keep in mind I'm on hormones through this all.....

Friday: Court date to resolve outstanding ex wife issues.  We won and I think our lawyer is worth every penny.  Hearing him tell Keith,  "Man,  did you trade up!  There's just no comparison" was good for my (shallow) ego.

Saturday: Yard work,  play date and errands.

Sunday: Laundry, pool time and ran Perry home.

Monday: Thumb therapy and Girl's night

Tuesday: Dermatology followup (clear!) and knee surgeon appointment (knee is shot but won't replace until I'm older.... fantastic)

Wednesday: Thumb therapy and got bad news about a friend battling colon cancer :(

Thursday: Ultrasound to see if lefty woke up.  And I'm taking a vacation day to spend time with my husband.

Friday: IUI and picnics

I can do this.....And the sweet surprise from hubby helped remind me of that!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

And It's Back

WANTED: NEW SKELETON.

I'd prefer one that is 5'10, not knock kneed and small enough to where they'd be forced to do full body lipo to make it fit.

This round of complaining brought to you by the return of my thumb splint and occupational therapy appointments.  My thumb joint is mad again and they can't try injections (baby making precaution) so I'm back to square one.

Apparently you have to lose full use, experience numbness and tingling and have full time level 8+ pain for surgery.  Dropping to the floor in tears when it pops just isn't good enough.

And if I have to hear one more time how this normally happens to 60 year old women,  I'm going to dye my hair gray and start rocking the walker. Thank you yet again AS, your ability to kill my joints fascinates me.  

Monday, March 10, 2014

It's Mine to Save

Since last Tuesday, I’ve been doing a lot of research and thinking.  The more I learn and read about AS, the more concerned I get.  The idea of being crippled and unable to get relief from pain, is super frightening.  The thought of having to use my walker more than once or twice a year could almost bring me to tears.  I’ve had a few people say, “Oh that’s good that it is just arthritis,” and man do I wish that were true.  The arthritis that most people know, causes extreme aches and pains and creaks (and is surely miserable, not downplaying that), but this one makes joints lose functionality.  It creates surgeries and irreversible damage and causes the aches and pains.  Most arthritis kicks in late in life, I’m 31 and falling apart.  So far, my neck, back (SI joints), ribs, thumbs, shoulder, knees and feet are involved, that doesn’t leave many other body parts.
But this post isn’t meant to be a big ole whiner fest (surprise!), but instead me putting my plans in writing.  No one can fight for my health as well as I can, so here is my semi-public declaration of the lifestyle changes I am making.
1.      Eating healthier.  I am the queen of the yo-yo diet.  If the numbers on the scale don’t magically divide themselves in a matter of weeks, I am over it.  I go back to my old ways and gain 10 extra pounds.  Well, this is stopping.  I am going to eat healthier, unprocessed foods.  I asked my doctor about diet and she suggested the Mediterranean Diet or any diet that promotes unprocessed foods and Omega 3s.  She made it clear that my being overweight is not causing the breakdown like I originally feared, but she said that losing weight can only improve my health and help take strain off my joints. 
2.      Exercising.  AS causes severe fatigue and aching….not exactly ideal for exercise.  I refuse to blame my lack of exercise on this though, I’ve just been lazy.  Going forward, I will be moving more and getting off my butt.  I’m only allowed to swim right now, but soon enough, I can add elliptical, walking and biking back in.  I’m not allowed to pound my joints, so I’ll never be a runner, but I can move more, and make exercise a priority. 
3.      Drinking more water.  I am not a drinker….I can go the whole day without drinking.  I am on a mission to find a water bottle I love and make it my sidekick.  I’ve slipped into an old habit of grabbing a pop or sweet tea while on the road and that HAS to stop.  I refuse to give up my one coffee a day with flavored creamer, because let’s be honest, it is in the best interest of everyone around me, if I don’t give that up.
4.      Getting more sleep.  I am hoping the exercise and lack of random drinks throughout the day will help with this.  I also plan to put myself to bed earlier even if I just lay there and unwind.
5.      Taking my meds.  I hate maintenance drugs…..I quit taking them after a while (hence prenatal vitamins laying in my drawer.)  I will take my pills and faithfully listen to the doc.
So there it is, my plan to save my poor ole body from AS.  On a bright note, all of these things could also aid fertility (minus the RXs), but the bad news is, this diagnosis throws a wrench into having children. 
There are several factors to consider:
1.      It’s hereditary
2.      It affects my ability to receive an epidural
3.      Pregnancy can be 100 times more painful or it could give me relief….there is no norm to how AS patients respond
4.      I would have to quit taking all drugs during a pregnancy
5.      I’ve read miscarriages are more likely in AS patients (something to do with the inflammation, they think)
So yeah.  More to think about.  But for now, we aren’t pursuing fertility treatments, but we also aren’t preventing anything.  We’re letting things sink in and waiting for the results from my next rheumatologist appointment in May. 
Please feel free to pray for us….pray for my joints, pray for Keith’s sanity, pray for strength to stick to my plans, pray for our family.  I’m thankful for the answers God has helped me get, but we’re just starting on this road, and I’m scared of what the future holds. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Some Days Life Just Ain't Fair

My thoughts for today:

1. Why can Honey Boo Boo's mother have children and I can't?

2.  On top of that fun,  today I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease.  I can't even say the stupid name let alone wrap my head around it....It's not life threatening (Thank you, God) but it's still a little unsettling.

3.  Some days life just ain't fair (And I can say "ain't" because I'm battling infertility and have Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS) so hhmph.)