Birchbox

Keith yelled from the driveway, "Look Perry my box arrived",  so of course I grabbed it and checked out my loot.  It's a good month :)

Beauty Protector Protect and Treat Mask: I like this brand and was excited to see 2 containers in the box!  This stuff smells great and I'm always on board for anything that helps my broken hair.  The 20 minute wait to rinse is only OK for baths instead of showers, but I won't complain about being forced to relax.

Cynthia Rowley Black Eyeliner: Goes on smoothly and stays put.  I'm anti eyeliner that needs sharpened and doesn't have a smudger on the tube, so I'll use it up,  but would never purchase.

Harvey Prince Imperial Gardenia: I smell flowery (shocking, I know).  It's not really my favorite,  but I'll use it up.  It's not old lady flowery so that helps lol.  Keith liked it!

Marcelle New Age 8 in 1 Power Serum: This goes on well and doesn't leave my face oily or make it feel like there's a mask on it.   I'm anxious to see if it firms and lifts as promised ;)  Smells fine too.

NAOBAY Body Radiance Lotion: When I read it was organic with avocado, I was slightly nervous,  but it went on easily,  didn't feel greasy and smelled very citrusy.  My dry skin seemed a bit softer this morning.

Obviously this box gets 2 thumbs up simply because it didn't have lip junk.  I liked all the products and will definitely use them all!

10 Things That You Might Not Know About Me

I love these random high school lists.  They fill in nicely when writer's block hits.

1.  I was the Mountaineer Mall Santa Claus. A friend was the manager and needed help, so I took the job!

2.  I got married while barefoot in a church.  I despise shoes so I just boycotted them.

3. My favorite word is idiosyncrasies.  I learned it from my favorite movie,  Good Will Hunting.

4.  I have had one cast in my life.  I ended up in it because I thought I could walk in heels/wedges.

5. I have all female cousins, until you dig into my extended/half relatives. 

6.  I'm extremely visually impaired.  My prescription is over 11 in each eye and my depth perception stinks!

7.  I hate salami, salmon, bleeding meat and sweet potatoes.

8.  I've never seen The Wizard of Oz,  It's A Wonderful Life, Sleeping Beauty or a lot of other classics.

9.  I'm triple jointed.  I can do tricks with my arms that make people cringe.

10.  I hoard garden flags,  Gold Canyon Candles and Pampered Chef gadgets.  Well hoard is a bit excessive...I have a nice collection ;)

There are some of my dirty little secrets. :)

So Do You Feel Pregnant?

That's the question my husband asked me yesterday.  Out of no where, he just spit that one out.   He's hopeful and excited....He's always so optimistic.

I want to just yell,  "Nnnnoooooo I don't feel pregnant.  Hell, I'll never know what pregnant feels like."  I don't though.  I don't like to inflict pain on him sooner than I have to.   Sometimes though,  I think that's cruel of me.   False hope seems mean to me.   I'm the realist. 

I'm struggling right now.   Really struggling....I hate not having a plan or a clue on what to do next.  I'm dreading the IVF and/or adoption conversations that are coming....they're the pink elephant in the room.  

Sorry for the pity party.  I hate being the whiney blogger.   But it's life and when you don't feel pregnant it adds some extra "poor me" into the mix.  Not to mention the AS symptoms from hell....Mobic, I miss you so. 

Lefty

Well I typed this post once and hit discard instead of publish.  So here's the brief version.  Gggrrr

At our scan yesterday,  lefty woke up, but didn't produce 20+ measurements,  so no IUI,  but plenty of timed baby dance instead.  

I'm off of my AS drugs so I'm creeping around like a 90 year old lady.   I'm hoping the 2 weeks of pain is worth it! 

We're off to celebrate the 4th with family, food and pool time.  Oh and I chopped off all my hair.   It was hot and I needed a change :)

Here We Go Again

It's scan day.   We'll see if lefty did anything this month.  Surprisingly I got an early positive ovulation test too, so the timing is perfect. 

Sitting in the waiting room trying not to hurl.....Someone has their toddler here which is just odd. 

Breathe Holly Breathe!

It's Called A (Unhealthy) Coping Mechanism

I'm an emotional eater. Comfort comes in a plate or a bowl.  I'll never lie or deny this problem.   After Mom died though, I added to the scope of the problem.  Now not only do I eat to deal with grief,  but I cook to help others cope.

My sister used to call for backup when she heard me in the kitchen.  I'd cook enough casseroles,  side dishes and desserts to feed an army.  I'd send food home with Dad,  feed my grandparents and have family over to eat.  It was one thing I could do to fill in for my Mom. 

With time,  I finally quit having these "fits" (not before perfecting homemade chicken pot pie), but I never quite lost the urge. 

So now, with news of a friend's terminal cancer status,  I find myself ready to drag out the bowls and pans.  In between tears,  I told my Dad, "I'll feed them.  It's all I know to do."  In my mind, what else can you do when a young mother and wife doesn't have much longer here on earth?

So tonight,  I'll be making chicken squares,  stuffed shells,  lasagna, pepperoni rolls and whatever else I can mass produce, because food is how I cope.  I'll feed em and hug em, because I know it's what got us through the bad times.

Crazy 8

Eight days of madness and I'm holding on tight!  Please keep in mind I'm on hormones through this all.....

Friday: Court date to resolve outstanding ex wife issues.  We won and I think our lawyer is worth every penny.  Hearing him tell Keith,  "Man,  did you trade up!  There's just no comparison" was good for my (shallow) ego.

Saturday: Yard work,  play date and errands.

Sunday: Laundry, pool time and ran Perry home.

Monday: Thumb therapy and Girl's night

Tuesday: Dermatology followup (clear!) and knee surgeon appointment (knee is shot but won't replace until I'm older.... fantastic)

Wednesday: Thumb therapy and got bad news about a friend battling colon cancer :(

Thursday: Ultrasound to see if lefty woke up.  And I'm taking a vacation day to spend time with my husband.

Friday: IUI and picnics

I can do this.....And the sweet surprise from hubby helped remind me of that!